Peanut
by scorpioryo
Summary: A little snack can just ruin your day.


Peanut

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**A/N: I teach little girl scouts songs. This story was inspired by one of the songs I taught them!**

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**Constructive criticism is accepted and very much appreciated! This is rated T for TEEN do to language and a bit of violence. People of the internet, you have been warned. Enjoy!**

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**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Black Cat or anything else famous people may have heard of before reading this. All I own is the plotline (note: inspiration came from the Girl Scout song, **_**Found a Peanut**_**).**

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Train was leisurely walking down the sidewalk in a beautiful city park where children were playing card games, old men were throwing molding, bacteria-infected crumbs at the pigeons, and old ladies were being sent as sacrifices to the squirrels so the furry creatures would keep their promise to the government to not expose the fact that squirrels and popsicles were really alien spies sent from Sector 4 of the Glamicasch-da Galaxy.

His stomach grumbled as he watched the bread slammed forcefully into the heads of the defenseless birds as they fell completely unconscious.

"I could roast the pigeons until golden brown, with the feathers removed of course," he explained, "and then smother that bad boy in barbeque sauce!"

"…Or you could just buy an ice cream," suggested a short boy.

"No, no, no," Train countered as he wagged his index finger, "that would be too obvious and sane. But thanks for the suggestion little spiky-tri-colored-haired-boy of whom I've never seen before in my life."

"Hey," the boy yelled, "I'm in high school!" Train started laughing.

"Look, kid," he said, "If you're in high school, then we're surrounded by the general public!" The raised an eyebrow.

"Public park," he mumbled and then walked away.

Train just scratched his head.

However, as he was about to continue walking, something small caught his eye. He looked at it, and then picked it up. It was brown, and a very odd shape…

"A peanut?" Train asked himself. He looked at the trashcan, but then his stomach started rumbling again. Why let such a treat go to waste?

Train quickly raced behind a tree, and he was sure that no one was around, he cracked the shell off to reveal the delicious contents inside.

But what he saw disturbed him.

It was a yucky mix of yellow, brown, and black, and it had a funky smell to it that made his nose wrinkle.

But his stomach had other plans.

Train just sighed and popped the bad food into his mouth. He swallowed it with one gulp, and then he smiled.

"Now I don't have to eat the discussing food Sven will be trying to make," he announced proudly. But as he stood up, he began to notice slight pains coming from his stomach…

Train went back home a few hours after dark.

"Train, where have you been," Sven asked sternly, "it's way past your bedtime!"

"Whatever," the sweeper mumbled as he slumped down on the couch. He began groaning again, and he began to mumble crazies.

"The pancake said it didn't want to play Orange Universe…"

"Sorry, but I forgot to refuel the electric pumpkin with green blocks…"

"Squirrels and popsicles plan to reunite and take over the world…"

He also became very green, like he was about to be sick.

Sven ran over and began dragging Train towards the door as Eve just sat there with her video games.

"Eve," the green-haired man yells as he runs out the door, "I'll be gone for a while! Don't get into trouble!"

"K!" she yelled back. And when she was sure that they were gone, a smile grew on her face.

"So Sven's finally realized that Train seriously does need to go to a mental institute," she said to herself as she began watching TV. She pulled out the recliner and sipped some of her soda that all of a sudden was there.

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Train slowly peeked through his half-opened eyes to see a bright light in a white room. He glanced to the left, and then to the right where he saw Sven and Eve sitting next to the bed he apparently was in.

"You're alive," his sweeping partner said with a grin, "you went through surgery 'cause of the damn peanut you ate, and they said that you died."

"Great," Eve snorted as she played her hand-held video game, "I still have competition for the ice cream cake Sven always brings back."

"But did you really?" Sven asked. Train slowly nodded.

"Yes," he said slowly, "I… I remember seeing golden gates… very very very white clouds… and… more clouds… and food! Lots and lots and lots of food… it was wonderful…"

"If it was so great," Eve asked with a puzzled look, "why are you back?"

"I thought it'd be funny to kick an angel," Train laughed, "and if I remember right, he had white hair… what kind of angel has white hair? So they let me choose to either come back of go to hell."

"Why would they give you a choice?" Sven asked. Train shrugged.

"They said that either would be equal punishment," the black-haired sweeper explained, "don't know why, though."

All of a sudden, Creed burst through the hospital room door with a bouquet of flowers in his hand.

"TRAAAAAIIIINNNN," He yelled, "YOU'RE ALIVE!" He ran into the room, arms outstretched as Train began to remove all of the wires and tubes that held him down in the bed. Sven was just staring with a confused look on his face as Eve started snickering.

"I think I know why," she laughed to herself.

"I change my mind," Train screamed, "I want to go to hell!"

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**A/N: Short? Yes, I know. Weird? Yep. Not Yu-Gi-Oh? Train has a curiosity thing that made this kind of thing click. Am I going insane? I was BORN insane. Please please PLEASE leave a review! Thanks!**


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